Canada Day

Oh Canada! Our home and native land!

A pretty tame Canada's day even by old people's standards.  I hung out with my friends, ate some food, watched some TV and won me some Mahjong!  For somebody that has difficulty reading Chinese numbers let me tell you, this is an accomplishment and a half.  Bravo!  I just have to remember for next time how to play haha.  I also conquered in Settlers of Catan but lost in Scrabble.  

I briefly watched the fireworks as I was getting home.  Now I'm exhausted.  Happy Birthday Canada!

pride

You have just swallowed your pride and done something you didn't want to do.  Your friend wants to know why.  The two of you are driving around an almost-full parking garage looking for a space for the friend's oversize pickup.  Write the scene. -- 642 Things to Write About

My inspiration seems rather specific today.  I do have a story that kind of fits this scene.  My friend invited me to her Stag and Doe out in the boonies; I swallowed my city pride and went.  There are three things that already put me on edge with her invitation: (1) I don't enjoy parties where I know virtually nobody, (2) I don't enjoy places I can't easily leave and go home, and (3) these country Stag and Does are attended by mostly strangers.


I realized that I was being super negative about the whole thing so I said, "Whatever, I will see you there!"  So, what did I learn from this experience?

A little or a lot of booze helps
I remember everything clearly which is a plus because it was all super enjoyable.  The alcohol was pretty cheap, no complaints.  Too bad I couldn't drink very much.  The Wedding Party also had some fun games like the Toonie Toss which is more fun a little tipsy - spins in an element of superhuman skill.

Trust your friends
The one friend driving me there was on the fence.  She had been to both great and not so great events.  The bride assured me that if I attended I would have a great time.  I focused on crowding out the negative thoughts and opened my mind up to new experiences.  At the end of the day I had fun and made some great memories and that's all that really matters.

Public events aren't all bad
Since the event is open to the public you can get some strange people but that was actually part of the fun!  There was a guy hired to dance, break the dance floor ice so to say.  It was entertaining, hilarious and relieving because I knew I wouldn't be the only wild dancer on the dance floor!

We crashed at the bride's house and had complimentary breakfast, what?!  Who says swallowing your pride has to be all bad?

news diet

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.  -- Fran Lebowitz

I swear I spend half the day reading news.  I have made a commitment to go on a news diet and edit the amount I consume to half.  I hear it's all about portion control these days anyways.  What do you guys read?  My RSS feed has over 50 blogs and I can't keep up.  Do I really need to read food photo blogs?  Really?  Haha but I do because it looks sooo good!

Here are some really good ones!

Running with Tweezers

Simply Recipes

Coconut & Lime

Smitten Kitchen

I share because I love not because I want to suck you into the news feed.

travelin' thru

A journey is best measured in friends, rather than miles. – Tim Cahill

Headed back to Waterloo to have dinner with some old friends.  I hope to make a regular trip as they are good people. Also, why not?  I enjoy the city and it will be good to see the old Alma mater... I only left a week ago but it seems like a really long one only because I've spent countless hours at the library trying to recapture my student days. Haha.

#sadbuttrue

hobo life

In almost every survey of consumers, they say they don't mind spending money. What they hate is the shopping experience.

you know what march says to me? that ill never be young again. i spent a day at the mall with my friend and i feel tired and achy. not even a full day, it was only 3 hours. i know that seems like a lot to some of you, but i work in a mall and could probably spend a day there working then go browsing afterward.

i know what you're all thinking... why doesn't he dress better then? its because i'm a poor hobo student... living a poor hobo life...

p.s. i boycotted green today and wore blue instead. take that!

getting sick

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

im no real fashion critic by uggs are ugg-ly. people defend them, they are warm and comfy! you know what else is warm and comfy? a fire place. thats where your uggs should be! feeding the fire.

i firmly believe when two things match so perfectly they should be together forever and always. like taylor swift and her youth. when she gets old its going to be a sad day for all pedophiles.

another example would be the face i give to people when they clearly arent making any sense and the subsequent comments in my mind about why i choose to speak to these people.

im giving you the look now, you know who you are... *cough* amanda *cough*. this is the last *cough* post i force out for you! *cough*

leaving people

Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.

every year around this time people leave and go off to some fantastical place where they learn new things and become crazy party animals. i was never much for learning or partying. my idea of a party was cheap booze and a hooker. no really now, not a hooker. i dont believe in hookers. i believe everybody should be open to sleeping with anybody and anything with an orifice. i know, thats so philosphical... its deep. really deep.

i am not drunk on cheap booze. no... really.

so this is my farewell to that girl thats leaving. see you around.

to my bored friend

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

i have this friend, we will call her sleepyhead, that claims she looks wonderful in the morning. come on, nobody looks wonderful in the morning! i look like a horse sat on my face for a few hours and then the bad stuff begin. no seriously, i dont look well. i look sick when i get up and then i pile on like half a bottle of full coverage concealer and pack on powder to my mac 134 like there's no tomorrow. when im done i look like an angel... an angelic drag queen. of course i dont go out in public this way -- this is for my own amusement.

reallysuperlongandundisernablewebsiteaddresses

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks

my friend and coworker, we will call her Sticks for anonymity sakes, has a blog. guess what her address is like? haha. i find it amusing. one day im going to make a website... www.reallysuperlongandundiscernablewebaddresses.com and its going to be super rockin. i think i will try to use google to find other addresses and hotlink them. this will be my side project while i plan my bank heists. perhaps the ad revenue will fund my luxurious lifestyle filled with twinkies and kool-aid.

so long and thanks for all the fish

theres a hole where my swede used to be

a swede is, according to wiki, a root vegetable and a cross between a cabbage and a turnip. "in canada swedes are used as filler in foods such as mincemeat and christmas cake." i think they are round, fist-sized, and have "bright purple bottoms, yellow tops and creamy white, dense flesh." my swede was not like that except for the description about the yellow top and creamy white, dense flesh. he was tall, some would say freakishly so. 

bye swede.

[blank]

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.

i watched Taken today, it'sok. i went with my tall friend. what was funny was that there was a tall guy sitting infront of me blocking the subtitles. i cursed him for his tallness only to realize that the person behind my tall friend was probably also thinking the same thing. ha! i asked my tall friend for the third time if he ever had chickenpox... i can't remember why i asked him the first two times.

antivegetarianism and antidisestablishmentarinism

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?  I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God.  I could be eating a slow learner.

what does one have to do with the other? nothing really. i just remembered hearing it from somewhere on youtube... *blushes* anyways! my friend doenst think i should try vegetarianism because she thinks its too much effort to eat a balanced diet. i think thats silly, i dont eat a balanced diet now so what difference would it make? its all to see if i can go without meat for a month without any ill effects. stay tuned, we shall see!

cheapness

Every four weeks I go up a bra size...it's worth being pregnant just for the breasts.

i was out and about the other day with senorita buying groceries amongst other things (bras). you might be asking yourself, what were bras and groceries doing in the same store... well wal-mart is amazing. except we werent at wal-mart or any other mart for that matter. in the bra store i learned about bewbs' bra size, impressive. anyways, i wanted chocolate chips. senorita made me get these generic ones, like sand rolling around on my tongue, craptastic! thanks senorita, you made my day.

oh silly

Owning a handgun doesn't make you armed any more than owning a guitar makes you a musician.

my friend bought a guitar. he broke the e-string. i told him that hes hopeless because i totally did not think he had any musical talent now or would develop any in the near or distant future. and i told him this. not to mention his massive debt, he doenst need a guitar. cant they just air guitar it and play make-believe like when we were kids. oh silly friend, that idiot.

SPAM SPAM SAPM!!1!11!

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

some people dont check their email daily. i find this very hard to conceive. it takes like a minute to log on and see if you have anything that might require urgent attention. i shouldnt have to tell you in person to check your email. especially if the reason im sending an email is because i dont see you often enough to tell you stuff you need to know. you should be expecting them! it should be automatic. wake up. brush your teeth. check your email! *shakes head in total disbelief and gives up on the human race before re-realizing most people are idiots and this means theres still hope for the ones that arent*

thank you balls[cn] for your wisdom. *bows*

im cold *whines*

I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.

my friend bewbs was complaining to me today about how its cold. really cold indoors. dont ask me why the heater isnt on, apparently its ineffective in penetrating the silky smoothness that is her skin. PHAW! what a load of hooey. so i asked her how many layers she was wearing and she replied, 3. PATHETIC! you fully need at least 5 to be warm. i detailed this to her as follows: a long sleeve shirt, 2 tshirts on top of that, then a sweater, then a bigger sweater, then a coat. Then for your bottom tight pants or jeans, then baggy jeans or baggy shorts/boxers, then sweats. socks are useless when layered, just use 2 and put on sherpa slippers. then you can drape yourself in a comforter. then i followed this up with my one peice of practical advice, the only real problem with so many layers is before and after showers and when you want to pee. voila, how to live like a hobo by me.

ill cry if i want to

age mellows some people; others it makes rotten.

thought experiment. what if you ran 300km through the rain, then through some water then mud and then were locked up in a room. would you smell like dirt? sweat? or not smell at all... something to consider i think. ive been thinking about what i smell like because as people get older they tend to get smellier. just an observation that hollywood is always keen to point out. i think that if i get smellier, and i cant smell it cause of all the hard work masked in water, mud and rain, it will be a really bad thing. you being my friend, would you tell me if i smelled? :O omg maybe no.

no phone... call.

No phone no phone
I just want to be alone today
Rhyming chiming got me working all the time
Gives me such a worried mind
Now I don't want to seem unkind
But god (it's such a crime)

so i was waiting for a call from an unknown person. not that i dont know the person but the person shall remain unknown to you! anyways this person said they would call. but they didnt. and i waited. and now im sad like a love-sick puppy. except im neither a puppy nor would anybody call me love-sick. i am, however, a tired old man. shame on you person of the land where there are few lights except in the sky! grrr. anyways i feel like sleeping, so i think ill go do that.

i may hate you sometimes

When the aliens come,
When the death rays hum,
When the bombers bomb,
We'll still be freakin' friends.

i was procrastinating and watched daria. the first movie makes me smile :)

ho ho hos

thats what id like for christmas. haha. im so funny. twas cold outside. i wasnt cold though, i have my new jacket. warmest thing ever. initially i had difficulties, the jacket made my shoulder blades too warm... warmer than id like them to be. so it was a bit uncomfortable to wear. :P but now its balanced out, im not sure what fixed it. perhaps a shift in where the stuffing was or soemthing... i dunno. or more likely, it was reader love. i can feel it. *absorbs love*