cheapness

Every four weeks I go up a bra size...it's worth being pregnant just for the breasts.

i was out and about the other day with senorita buying groceries amongst other things (bras). you might be asking yourself, what were bras and groceries doing in the same store... well wal-mart is amazing. except we werent at wal-mart or any other mart for that matter. in the bra store i learned about bewbs' bra size, impressive. anyways, i wanted chocolate chips. senorita made me get these generic ones, like sand rolling around on my tongue, craptastic! thanks senorita, you made my day.

lemoness

There is a lot more juice in grapefruit than meets the eye. ~Author Unknown

recently, i suggested to a friend to purchase a lemon reamer for secret santa. who doesnt want to ream their lemon, honestly now. such a handy tool should be in all kitchens. handy, get it? har har. (you use your hand to ream the lemon *sigh*) you could also use it for other citrus fruits. anyways... i suggested to a different friend that they should include a reamer and zester in one tool, for optimal lemonness. senorita as it were, disagreed. she thought id hurt myself... silly girl. when i use a melon ball scooper i dont scoop my wrist with the other end!

my field is empty...

lying down. says: meow
[friend001] says: 1 cow
lying down. says: oats
[friend001] says: 1 cow
lying down. says: soar
[friend001] says: 1 cow
lying down. says: taro
[friend001] says: field is empty
lying down. says: stupid cows

senorita has cats. many many cats. shes a cat lady of the new world. she doesnt name her cats, she just has enough that if she wanted to she could stew them. eww... yes that is gross so why did i say it. cause when i write this blogs i dont think, i just type. *in an austin powers kinda way* its the magic fingers at work baby, yeah!

so back to the cats, meow. the best part of having cats is that you have no mice or rodents. i used to live in a house with mice, i thought they were cute. of course i feared them chewing into my shoes and jeans. the shoes! not the shoes! oh blogger, what a vivid imagination you have. oh blogger what an enormous ego you have. oh blogger, what incredibly fast-typing hands you have!

i may have an empty field, but senorita has 4 cows.

inside my head

zomg puke. run... run now he isn't looking!
or we could knock him out...
curious, what would we do it with?
i see a pole, a metal pole.
we aren't strong enough to lift that pole you idiot!
GOGOGOGOOGOGo!

sorry for the craptasical posts lately but boy/girl do i have a story to tell you! i was with senorita waiting for my ride and this creepy man started talking to me. at first i thought he was just being friendly but then he asked me if senorita was my girlfriend, i wanted to vomit. only cause i was nauseous from dinner (i must have cooked it wrong or something) and cause he was so creepy, NOT because senorita is repulsive in any way ;) shes quite the looker actually. hmm... *day dreams*

anyways... he then went on to tell me how he wasnt 'lucky' cause he didnt have a girlfriend and how his would-be girlfriend would be 'lucky' to have him as a boyfriend. *smiles and nods looks over at senorita desperately (shes on the phone)* then he tells me that she is not 'lucky' cause im not her boyfriend. his rant continues "we aren't lucky" *smiles and nods more vigorously and makes a mental note to yell at senorita later its all her fault* so guess what was running through my mind?

forgive me? *snickers*

Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting

do you have a friend that you've had forever and just cant tell them that you dont like them anymore? you wish theyd be gone and you just didnt have the heart to tell them. but then time past and they just grew on you like a mold or fungus, one that has grown fuzz of its own and is now petable. sometimes a little itchy but overall, endurable. well im totally that friend.

zing!

i was over at a friends house, i suspect she [codename: senorita] doesnt like me very much. i suspect because she said so! senorita said she liked balls[codename] better. im totally superior to balls in so many ways. seriously though... at least i havent steeped to any lower levels in a silly and immature attempt to get back at him. silly balls... im dirty.

dontcha luv me. <3