How you feel about love.

642 Things to Write About

Last Monday at 6:00AM, Mpfft woke up to see Tqrt sprawled all over the bottom half of the bed.  Mpfft teasingly called Tqrt "Zdww" due to Tqrt's odd sleeping habits.  Mpfft looked fondly upon Tqrt's dark purple eye, a birth defect.  How Tqrt was born with only a single purple eye is a secret Mpfft will never know.  Mpfft found it endearing but had never said anything about it to Tqrt; it's a very touchy subject.  Both of them agreed age, weight and hair colour were also taboo.  Mqfft slowly got out of bed and quietly walked to the washroom to get ready for work.  The commute was dreadful.  Tqrt's workplace was five minutes down the block and could sleep in every morning.  Mpfft was only slightly bitter, only slightly.

This Monday was different.  This Monday Mpfft buried Tqrt in the early morning.  A hit and run on Tqrt's way to work.  No longer bitter, Mpfft laid down on the bottom half of Mpfft's once shared bed and fell asleep.

----

I read the topic for today's post as, "Write a true story about how you feel about love."  I interpreted it as, write a story about love.  I wasn't aiming for the dark and twisted 50 Shades of Grey or anything.  In light of the Chick-Fil-A controversy, I wanted to communicate that love doesn't discriminate.  In my short story, both characters can be either male and/or female. Everybody pairing combination can have silly nicknames, secrets and sore points.  Everybody can love and be hurt.  Everybody is equal, period.

<3 p="p" sob="sob" tear="tear" uncontrollably="uncontrollably">

A cockroach at the Roosevelt.

642 Things to Write About

OK I will be the first to admit I had to Google for places named Roosevelt.  I feel so young it's invigorating!

Fred walked into the dining room and waited by the entrance to be seated.  He looked around, the place seemed to be buzzing with energy.  He could feel it in the air.  Everyone in the room was dressed in their best.  The table closest to him had a pretty young lady and gentleman dining together.  He suspected they were on a date by what she had ordered.  He could see the lettuce on her fork, it appeared lightly dressed.

"Yuck," Fred blurted loudly.  He was immediately embarrassed and hoped nobody had heard him.  Salad, in Fred's humble opinion, was the worst kind of food on earth only made worse by lack of dressing.  The girl was pretty though.

After waiting 10 minutes for sub-par service Fred proceeded to down the aisle of tables and chairs hoping to find an empty one.  Alas, perhaps this was not his night.  As Fred circled back to the entrance he glanced back at the couple near the door to find a bored-looking young lady and a missing young man.  Fred decided to approach the table and try his luck.

As Fred approached the table the young lady screamed, "COCKROACH!" The pretty young lady was horrified.  As she tried to squish Fred, she tipped over the table and dropped her half-eaten salad. Fred thought belatedly as he quickly nibbled on the salad, the pretty young one's scare the best but pick meals the worst.

Tell the true story of a dramatic moment in your life, but weave in one secret and one lie.

642 Things to Write About

It was a cold and very icy night, I was reviewing my notes before an nighttime exam.  It was set to start at 7:00PM which is 10 levels of crazy.  Who can even function that late at night?  I was about to fall into an after dinner food coma.

It was approaching 5:50PM when the last bus to school was set to arrive.  I packed up my things, headed out to the stop and arrived 10 minutes.  I waited outside in the cold for 45 minutes before finally giving up and calling a cab.  The cab dispatcher told me it would take 30-40 minutes for a cab to arrive, I freaked out and had a mini-panic attack!  It would be cutting it close.  As I waited I began to seriously worry which did nothing for my confidence.

The cab arrived five minutes past seven.  I arrived at my final 20 minutes late and 20 dollars lighter. It was all OK though, I was confidence incarnate.  The only thought in my mind was: git'er done.

Life Lesson: Always take the second last bus to school.

A man jumps from the fortieth story of a building. As he's passing the twenty-eighth floor, he hears a phone ring and regrets that he jumped. Why?

642 Things to Write About

Earlier in the day Fred was feeling lucky. It was strange that he felt lucky at all due to his lifetime of bad luck.

He distinctly remembered the moment when he realized his parents had cursed him. It was a bright clear day when he realized how unusual it was he and his 6 siblings were all named Fred. His parents believed it would be easier to call everybody to dinner, a name and identity of convenience. This lead to multiple convictions laid against him for assault, fraud and murder committed by his siblings but served by him.

When he was finally released from prison and settled down to a quiet life in a small town it began to fall apart again. He'd recently broke up with his boyfriend, Bill. Or rather in a bizarre turn of events Bill left him for his sister, Fred.

But earlier in the day Fred had purchased a lottery ticket. The winning lottery ticket if the early morning radio announcer was correct. He could feel his fortunes changing.

In a bizarre turn of events Fred's wallet was stolen by the very same sister that had stolen away Bill. It contained the lottery ticket. Fred had tried Fred numerous times hoping she would return his wallet. She wasn't particularly bright so there was a chance she didn't know what she held.

In a bizarre turn of events earlier on that same day, Fred's sister Fred had her phone stolen by Bill, Fred's ex-boyfriend, and only recently got the message from her unlucky brother Fred. She was dialing her brother's number just as he leaped off his office building.

Fast-forward to the present as time slowed while Fred was falling past the twenty-eighth floor of his office building and heard Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen, a personalized ringtone for his delinquent sister. Fred screamed, "CURSE YOUR FRED, CURSE YOU!" as he plummeted to his death.

A sneeze.

642 Things to Write About

When I was younger one of my favourite books ever was one by Dr Seuss, Because a Little Bug Went Ka-Choo! I borrowed it from the library, lost it, found it and never returned it. Enjoy.

Something you lost.

642 Things to Write About

For Christmas one year my father helped me and brother hunt down Pokemon Blue and Red for our presents. I swear it was +20 EB Games/micro-somethings over 6 weeks to finally find a store that stocked them. In any case, after I had finished the game a few times I lent it to a friend, he was not as lucky to own a copy. They were still quite rare even after Christmas. Long story short, it got around like a street corner hooker and was never seen or heard from again.

You are looking down through the skylight as chefs prepare dinner for your ex-fiancé's wedding.

642 Things to Write About

ENTER SCENE.

ERIC:
What am I doing up here? So very odd. This totally reminds me of a scene from Ratatouille when Remy first finds his way to Paris and Chef Gusteau's restaurant. I should return to the ground. I wonder what on earth possessed me to climb up there in the first place. I wonder why I`m wondering out loud. But wait, that's my fiancé!

CHEF GUSTEAU:
Ex-fiancé, mon ami, for you are dead.

Dramatic music plays in the background *Dun dun daaa*

Write a short story that is set in Argentina in 1932, in which a teacup plays a crucial role.

I don't know about your thoughts on short story writing but my last foray into short stories ended in pages of unreadable content. I think short story writers, writers in general even, are very talented and have great vision. To have a story provide depth in a few pages its truly masterful. Writing a novel on the other hand I believe takes passion and determination. Who would willingly write hundreds of pages? Thousands if we look at series like Harry Potter.

I follow a Fantasy series called The Wheel of Time and it's onto its 14th book due out in January, +11000 pages. I have been waiting 11 years for a conclusion. My wait is actually shorter than fans that have followed the series since its birth in 1990; it will be 23 years! I get reader's fatigue from trying to finish any book so forget about forcing myself to read a draft 50 times.

Anyways the next time 642 Things to Write About asks me to write a short story and you are presented with a few paragraphs you will know why.

spoken grunts

Write a scene where the only spoken dialogue is "Uh-huh," "Umm," "Urrrr," "Mm-mmm."  -- 642 Things to Write About

He looked over to his girlfriend and she was deep in thought.  "Umm," she said with a deep resonating voice and her eyes closed.  Was she meditating or considering the art on the wall?  He couldn't tell and she was prone to spells of quirkiness.  "Urrrr," he contemplated out loud pretending to mirror her thoughts.  He had to make sure she knew he was giving it serious thought even though he didn't care what hung on their living room wall.

Suddenly she turned to him as if reading his mind and arched her eyebrow.  "Umm... umm... uh-huh?" he blurted and quickly threw one thumb up. Her expression didn't change so he quickly chugged his coffee. "Mm-mmm," he mumbled as transformed his confused/worried expression into a fake smile.  He offered her the cup to see if he could avoid any questions about the painting she might have to ask.  She took the cup, considered it and walked to the next painting.

Curse it!  It was going to be a long day.

blue thought

What a character holding a blue object is thinking right now. -- 642 Things to Write About

Mmm I love blueberries.

lost roommate

The long-lost roommate. -- 642 Things to Write About

Once upon a time there was a roommate named Anthony.  He mostly kept quietly to himself but sometimes laughed out loudly at random times in the middle of the night.  Often I would hear other voices coming from his room, other men.  No dirty reader, the voices were from his computer.  He was an avid World of Warcraft fan.  Had I gone a different path in life, I would be Anthony or his best friend.  He was suppose to live with me last year, he paid rent but never showed up.

Where are you now Anthony?

ransom note

Tell a story that begins with a ransom note. -- 642 Things to Write About

I cannot guarantee the well-being of your sweet love.  She is rich, oh so very rich!  Her dark velvety skin is unbroken but that will not remain so for very long.  I will need one hour to prepare her for the exchange but she will be too hot once she emerges from her metal prison.  She will require time to cool off.  So, in two hours time we will meet at the bakery across from your work.  A list of my demands follows as well as pictures of your loved one.  My list begins with "two sticks."

A list of my demands

See you at noon!

The Dark Chocolate Thief

floating

You are an astronaut. Describe your perfect day. -- 642 Things to Write About



I wake up to an alarm of Katy Perry's Teenage Dream.  It is totally dark but then suddenly the computer beeps furiously and the lights begin to slowly dim on.  Sadly, the computer cuts Katy Perry's chorus short and I am caught belting the remaining lyrics by my superior, Dr Smith.  Awkward... So I decide it's better if I go back to sleep and try again tomorrow. You know what they say, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again."

house plant plea

A house plant is dying. Tell it why it needs to live. -- 642 Things to Write About

I will respond with a Haiku (How to Write a Haiku)

neighbouring lush growth
stretch into the moist soil
and see the reason

I once saved an office plant.  I named him Herb.  Herb was dust-covered and sitting in a dark corner of an office I inherited.  I gave him a shower and set him up in some prime sunlight real-estate.  Two weeks later he showed signs of life.  Good times.

in a second

What can happen in a second -- 642 Things to Write About

True to my generations' form I googled it and I found An Illustrated Visualization of What Can Happen in a Single Second.  That is interesting but not really, haha.

Recall those movies where the protagonist says something to the tune of "That meteor will never hit us!" and in that split second said meteor adjusts its course towards Earth.  Of course it's not all doom and gloom, good things can and do happen.  Inspiration can strike and you can find yourself surfing the internet for hours.  It's cliche because it's true!  I do this all too frequently and all too frequently at 4am!   For example, earlier this year when I looking for a life direction I stumbled upon radian6's blog while researching something for a school project --  life-changing.  In that one second things can turn upside-down and your eyes open.  Today, I have a goal in mind and that makes job searching and skill building all the more easier.

So what can happen in a second? Anything, that's my final answer Regis. *cue the millionaire music*

inpsired

A single problem customer changed the fate of my company. --Ron Burley

I read two articles today on customers and customer service that left me with a feeling of wonder.  I wondered if any of my customers that I helped ever received any unexpected awesomeness vibes (karma man!).  For example, I help a female customer, Jane, with a new pair of jeans because she has recently lost/gained some weight; the first time Jane wears them she finds her soul mate.

Haha. I agree that's a far-fetched fantasy.  One time I helped a male customer with a pair jeans and he came back the next day with his girlfriend to get another pair because she liked them!  It took an hour with him but repeat sales, that's what I'm talking about.  Good customer service all the way!  I think that is as crazy as it gets in the retail world.  The links are below if you are interested in customer service or wasting time.

The $4 Million Complaint Call
The Radical Transformation of Customer Service

true story.

happened to a friend of a friend of mine...

we will call him bob025.2x. he required a clean uniform for work later that day and budgetted time for a wash and dry cycle. while his uniform was in drying he decided to go to the dollar store for a few items. upon opening the door he noticed a lot of snow from the blizzard the night before.

as he waited in the winter weather in only slightly wet clothes, a thought occured to him... ive got clean warm clothes in the dryer! however he saw that he was running later than expected. but not to worry, because he still had enough time to change into his freshly cleaned clothes, they should be done drying. woe was he when they were still soaking wet.

as he waited in the winter weather in wet clothes, a thought occured to him... i am an idiot. after work that day it was raining really hard. he walked in the rain to the bus shelter. there was ample water everywhere and the snow had melted into a mush. his pants, socks and shoes were soaked through.

and so as he waited in the winter weather in wet clothes for a third time, a thought occured to him... why me, poor bob025.2x.

mmm honey. [pt 3]

Gerard hears an annoying beeping sound and opens his eyes, “where am I?”
      “Trapped in my lair, muahahaha!” Emeraude Darkstar responds excitedly. Gerard attempted to struggle out of his bonds to no avail and settled for looking around. He spots Waynig indulging in a pizza pocket off in the distance also trapped.
      “Waynig, how did I get here? I can’t recall.”
     Taking a break from his meal Waynig replies scornfully, “you fool, you don’t remember! That’s the problem with you always forgetting. That’s what cost us our freedom! Let’s hope Jumonji comes through and saves us.”
     Emeraude Darkstar guffaws loudly as she prepares her roasting fire. All of a sudden all three of them hear a curious sound. *Wee-ooo-wee-ooo swish swish Wee-ooo-wee-ooo swish swish*
      “It’s Jumonji! She’s come to rescue us!” shouts Waynig happily. He quickly finishes his pizza pocket.
     Panting heavily, “I am here friends!” Jumonji exclaims. She then abruptly collapses from exhaustion.
     "Who will save your pathetic lives now? Hahahaha" Emeraude Darkstar cackles hysterically.
     Waynig turns to Gerard, "Dun dun daa!"

mmm honey. [pt 2]

"My comrades and I will take you up on your challenge." Jumonji looked to her comrades for confirmation. Gerard seemed to have misplaced his sword and was desperately trying to find it but Waynig seemed excited enough for both of them.
      "Yay a mission finally! Perhaps I will get to use my protective armour, [White Coat]" exclaimed Waynig. Jumonji was doubtful that his armour would protect him but didn’t say anything because she secretly hoped he'd need healing. She was the healer in this rag tag gang and if there was healing to be done she would do it; she wasn’t much of a fighter.
“I am still hungry though, let’s head into the restaurant.”
As the troupe settled down they began to discuss the journey ahead, confronting Emeraude Darkstar the evil White Archimage.
      “She is said to be a mermaid who tortures her enemies,” Waynig peeped enthusiastically. “She lives deep beneath the earth too!” Suddenly, in walks a spacey prostitute.
      “It’s Emeraude Darkstar!” Waynig shrieks.
Gerard looked sceptical, “How is she walking, don’t mermaids have fins?”
      "Dun dun daa, plot twist!" squealed Jumonji excitedly.

mmm honey.

Jumonji Yumi softly hummed a Christmas tune while her companions talked amongst themselves. Gerard Beauson was a soldier with black hair and bluish green eyes. His eyes reminded her of funky-kiwi fruit, her favourite fruit of all. Gerard was speaking to Waynig, the gnome, a tiny person with large hazel eyes and wispy light-brown hair worn crew-cut. Jumonji often thought he resembled a walking melon, an ugly one.
      "I'm hungry, let's eat!" Jumonji yelped loudly and with that she wobbled towards the nearest restaurant, The Shanghai Flower, still humming her Christmas tune. Just then a grumpy street vendor arrives and requests a favour from your antagonist... err Jumonji.
      "You my hungry friend have a destiny to fulfil!" said the old chinese shop keeper. "You must help me and in return I will give you this!" The shop keeper dug into his dirty rags and moments later revealed a canister made of bronze, filled with honey. "This canister will never become empty, every time you close the lid more honey will appear!"
      "Dun dun daa, plot twist!" squealed Jumonji excitedly.